the place of man and woman … conversATIONS WITH STRANGERS

Everytime I go out, whatever I've just been posting about stays in my field and attracts me with people that offer more human stories

around that topic.  This is essentially how the universe works.  We show what we love with our attention and energy, it gives us more of that. Delicious.  Well if you're focused in the direction of what you'd like more of at least. Keep this in mind if you ever find yourself in default complaining mode. 

I go out for bread and decaf coffee *or so I think* and get guided to places where I come back with a contemplation cloud of thoughts around the place of man and woman.  Just your casual coffee chat. Straight in deep, just as I love it.

We talk around the manifestation of beliefs ... and how not to burn yourself simply out of curiosity 

They have a saying in Romania, Once I burnt myself in the soup, afterwards I blow on the yoghurt.  

I hear it so many times, yes, but it's true women are like that, or people do act like that, or it does always happen … Over caution and blanket belief statement thoughts kick in. 

But it is the very belief that creates the experience.  So what are you seeking to confirm? Because we're always seeking to confirm our beliefs... the question is are they serving you?  Or protecting you from the pain of something that once happened?

Because if we protect ourselves off from potential pain, we also protect ourselves off from infinite magic and possibility too

In a life of contrast it is an impossibility to avoid all pain

They have another saying: The intelligent person learns from their mistakes, the wise one from others. 

But is it really possible to embody wisdom without living through it?  Planting this seed with you.  Is it always just a curious part that is attracted to the danger, the pain, the chaos, the drama? Is it always a lesson that you need to go through? Or is it time to break the cycle and update the belief? Beliefs have to be trained like you train your body. 

Do you want the curiosity to drive you towards repeat lessons or the wisdom you have to lead you towards a higher aligned experience of humanness ?

The Universe does something very curious, I wonder if you've noticed ... It will bring you somebody that is going through something similar to you at the exact time that you are.  It does this so that you become the Moralist Wolf. You offer the necessary wisdom from a position of detachment to somebody else, so that you can see the wisest course of action for you too. 

Then it becomes a case of to what degree are you willing to be a curious masochist … and with a gentle tenderness for yourself if a part of you does get suctioned into painful experience to deepen a wisdom.

Changing patterns always feels uncomfortable but there is such expanse in it. You close doors and open new timelines. New places for expanse.  

The more conversations I have with men, the more I see there are so many kind *and I don't mean nice guys* but diligent, wide hearted men with the most pure of intentions that seem to feel it's impossible to find women that love them simply for their inherent worth and who they are fundamentally.  They hold deeply subconscious beliefs about women and so attract the kind of women that aren't serving them, only substantiating their belief further.  Or they run from true love because they don't feel worthy yet of experiencing that sort of bigness. 

Their Mothers, through no fault of their own, never modelled positively conscious femininity. This combined with the fierce feminist movement *which is actually very masculine energetically* and the independent woman energy has displaced the position of man. And this position can look so many different ways.  Their wound with the feminine until healed will keep this cycle going.  And the same if women have father wounds, and deep beliefs about what men in general are like. When these are healed, relationships manifest in very different ways.  Women will then discern when men are trustable, follow their intuition, and open only when they feel this integrity.  And men naturally restore their belief that there are women who will love them for who they are and not only for what they provide materialistically, or for how they are or are not achieving. 

Men and women are not designed to express and behave or think in the same ways.  Our energies are very different, like sun to moon, fire to water, complex to simple.  We are complimentary and the striving for equality, whatever that means, is a false Goddess. Perhaps honouring the different ways that we show up and aiming for harmony is the goal. 

One of the men this morning said women take care of the life and the soul in relationship and men the ecosystem

Inevitably it is always more complex than this reduction

and each conscious relationship has its own harmonic shape to take 

but loving a man for who he is and not for what he provides feels like an important step in the healing of male expressions of unworthiness

and men opening to know that there are women that can not just do this but are here for that way of loving so naturally

My sense is many men are tired of holding this heaviness 

and they don't need to.  Many women are tired of feeling too much. Both partners need to hold themselves in love and stability to invite in what they truly desire in their hearts, and then the focus can become on simply loving and being.

Healing organically without trying. Just by being our authentic nature. Being able to be exactly as you are without any alteration seems necessary to me. People will always bring out different parts of our being but any contortions out of naturalness will feel draining. 

My go to rule of conduct is If it's tiring its unnatural and if it's energising its authentic. 

In love Joanna